a lesson

/hihi everyone
i want to post something bout what i did yesterday. like other friday, i went swimming with my bestest friend ever, lets just call er J. we've been best friend since we were in Junior High School. she's different with every girl i've known. and in my opinion, she's the last species of "special girl" that lives on earth... /floor
(attention! -special- with italic writing and quote...!!!)

uhm.... well, she didn't come from a rich family, her mother sells tofu, and her dad's salary is not much, however she's such a cheerful girl. she just like live without any problems at least, that what her friends thought, but in fact, her problems are bigger than everyone would ever thought.
yesterday, when i went swimming with her, she told me all of her problems. her family, her relationship with boys (this one doesn't make a big deal for her), and her problems with the people around her (this one is a big deal for me too).
i don't want to tell ya what's her problems, cuz i dont think its a good thing to do. i just want to tell about my feeling when i hear her story. speechless, i want to help, but what can i do, if i were on her position, maybe i've had taken a smoke, cuz she got the same problem with me. one solution in front of our eyes, but we're never do that. we can never do such thing like this. comunication.
i wish i can be a novelist, why would you think i want to be a novelist? because it's cool? nah...
first, it is one of my ability. i dreamt a lot, i'm daydreaming everytime i get pissed off, or when i'm sad. and from that fancy thing, i started to wrote down a line. and continued till the end.
second, a novelist doesn't have to talk much. they just have to search a publisher who want to publish her novel, doesn't have to do debate a lot. they work with their own hands and mind. i always imagine a novelist by a lonely person, sitting in a corner of a cafe, holding a notebook, and pen, and write anything that come in their head, accompanied by music sometimes.

thats right, novelist doesn't have to talk much.
i've had my trauma with comunication here. no matter how hard i try to be friendly, i always be left behind by these people.
there's always a discrimination for me and J. they ignore me just because i can't talk in their language well, because i wasn't born here. me and J have made a promise, when we're graduated from High School, we're gonna leave this damn town and go to a very far college.

for example, yesterday, when we were in swimming pool, there are some stupid shitty fucking boys mocking on us. they said that we're such a smart ass, cool ass, anything, just because we're talking in Indonesian, not Javanese. i just can't believe that there are such boys in this modern world. where the hell are their mind? its just like, their brains went for a vacation, had an accident, died, burried and never come back.
so does the adult people, they think that we can speak Javanese, but we speak in Indonesia instead for being cool.
i just can't take this anymore. i don't care what they want to say, i shut my ears for them (literally shut my ears by earphone.. /blush )
but they will see, someday, i'm gonna show them what i've got. they're gonna try their best to be just like ME