^_^ :P :D :) :( :'( :')

so many laugh, tears, smile, all the sweetness and bitterness of this life i've felt.but i still confused, why i haven't feel love?

everyone around, everyone i met, everyone i've talked with, most of them have ever fall in love. i don't know if its the first love, or true love, or whatever love it is. but it sounds sweet in my ears. to have someone to think everynight, to have company when they're alone, thats really sweet :')
i never felt all of them. once i like someone, he always miles apart from me. this isn't real. i haven't feel love at all, not even for my boyfriend now. first time i thought he'd make me feel it, but no. he is a kind man, he has given everything for me, but... that's  not what i want. i want someone to feel my emptiness, all this time, i was lonely. i need a company, but he was too busy with his work. it tried to understand  that, i understand. but my feeling still empty. he told me, that eventhough he doesn't send me a message, he still think about me. but once again, it's not real. i've sick of everthing that is unreal. i'd better live in my own fantasy, than live in this reality without unreal things. its all the same.
there so many time i want to break with em, but he'll tide his sorry-for-what-i've-done-face.if i ignore it, he'll turn into a telenovela actor. begging for this, tellin me he'll live in pain if i leave him. or worse, he'll say, "thanks for breaking my heart, i know now.. blah blah blah"
Geeeeez!!
wait untill he reads this article, i bet he'll say those things =_=
blah.. i don't wanna care. its up to u, tell me i'm a devil, an angel with a devil heart. tell me i'm so mean to break one's heart. you guys just don't know how i feel. i've had it enough, n i'm sick of that.
i want to finish this but i just don't know how to do it.